


What If...?

by tattooeddevil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 19:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3180668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattooeddevil/pseuds/tattooeddevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Sam hadn’t killed Emma? What if Dean had gone back to Lisa? What if other hunters weren’t as understanding as Lisa? What if Dean’s fate was the same as his father’s? What if Sam refused to let that happen? This is the story of how things could be different, if...</p>
            </blockquote>





	What If...?

**Author's Note:**

> This story is canon divergent from mid-way S06, with mentions of happenings and characters from S07-10. There is no set timeline for it, so please do not try to place the happenings from later seasons in the original timeline. This is why it is canon divergent!

Three years and it still took him a few minutes every day when he woke up to fully realize where he was and why. Right, Holland, Michigan, home. Home. It was 2013, he was Dean Winchester, and by some miracle he had what he always wanted: a family.

“Daddy?”

That didn’t mean he didn’t want to strangle them every now and then, though. Whatever the time, it was too freaking early to be awake.

He took a deep breath and flipped the cover away from where it had been covering his head. “Yes, baby?”

Emma giggled from the other side of the door. “I’m not a baby, Daddy. I’m already nine!”

Damn it, but he couldn’t stay mad at her, even if she woke him at - Jesus - 6.30 on his day off. He burrowed deeper into the warm blankets before shouting at his daughter to come in. Emma threw the door open - nearly off its hinges and bouncing off the wall - and catapulted herself onto the bed. Pointy elbows and knees dug into his side, gut, and back as she burrowed under the blankets with him until she was pressed up against him, her cold nose buried in his neck. “Hi, Daddy.”

He kissed the crown of her head. “Hi, baby. Why are you up already? Did your brother wake you?”

Emma shook her head, her fine ginger hair tickling his neck. “No, I was already awake. Why did Lisa and Ben have to get up so early, Daddy?”

He could feel his heart break a little. He and Emma had been living with Lisa and Ben for three years now - somehow, somehow Lisa had fallen in love with him again and not one day passed without him being eternally grateful for that - but Emma still couldn’t call them her mother and brother. Not even stepmother and stepbrother. Dean kept referring to them as her mother and brother though, hoping she would pick it up one day. Lisa would never admit it, but he knew it hurt her to see the little girl keep her distance from them when there really was no reason. Emma didn’t spend a lot of time with her birth mother, but she distrusted anyone that was not Dean. Even when they were as sweet and caring as Lisa. Emma just wouldn’t have it.

Dean would do everything he could to convince Emma of that fact, despite the little girl’s lineage and powers.

Speaking of, “Baby, remember what I said about controlling your strength?”

Emma went completely - guiltily - still. “No?”

He could hear the admission in her voice. He had learned early on that nine-year-olds suck at lying. “I think you do. And I think you also know why I am asking you.”

If she had been standing, she would have shrunken five inches with the way her entire body sagged. “I know. I’m sorry Daddy.”

“And?”

“And I will control my strength better next time.”

“And?”

“And I won’t slam the door against the wall anymore.”

He kissed the top of her head again in praise. “Good. Thank you, Baby. Now, your momma and your brother won’t be back for at least two hours, so what do you say we go back to sleep?”

He sent a quick prayer upstairs - hi, Cas! - but to no avail. Emma immediately started squirming like a noodle at the thought of having to be quiet and still much longer. “No, Daddy, I want to get up and play!”

Damn it, Cas.

“Okay baby, go on then. You go downstairs and push the button on the coffee maker. Carefully! Softly. Gingerly. Subtly.” He valued his coffee and the expensive machine that supplied it to him. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

Emma squealed and wrestled her way out of his nest of blankets and pillows. Cold air blew in from somewhere and he gave a heartfelt groan. Might as well get up.

Lisa and Ben came home two and a half hours later, both soaked with sweat from the early-morning soccer practice Why they insisted on Sunday mornings at 7am, he would never know, but at least he didn’t have to coach the team. Lisa was a much better coach anyway, much less likely to shoot someone if they didn’t do what he wanted them to do. Everyone was better off if he just spent Sunday mornings on the couch or in bed.

Ben saluted him as he by-passed the living room and went straight upstairs - ”Hi, Dean, I stink”, - but Lisa came over to greet him with a kiss. She looked at Emma, who was raking leaves outside.

“Really? How did you do that?”

Dean grinned. “Emma’s not the only one with special powers.”

Lisa gave him a look. A long one, the one that said she knew he wasn’t telling her everything and he'd better spit it out now or she’d give him hell. “Fine. I promised her a new story if she raked the leaves and took out the trash.”

The look intensified. “Fine, **fine**! A story from one of Bobby’s books.”

He'd expected a lecture; Lisa didn’t see eye to eye with him on teaching the kids about things that went bump in the night, but she merely rolled her eyes with a fond smile. “Just don’t freak her out again, she doesn’t need any more nightmares.”

“Something about wendigos, then. We live in a city, none around.”

It was only half a joke. He knew damn well that wendigos - when desperate enough - would venture into residential areas, but he did a thorough sweep of the area every month and so far he hadn’t found anything. Ever. Nothing. No monsters, no demons, no angels, no ghosts. The scariest thing around was Dean himself.

And his Amazon daughter; but she wasn’t a monster or a threat. She was his little girl, powers be damned.

Lisa shook her head with a half-amused huff and nudged his shoulder for him to make room. She sat down next to him on the couch, leaning against his side as he wrapped an arm around her. They both watched Emma in silence for a bit. Her tongue was poking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration, the rake about a foot too long for her to handle properly, but she persisted. Dean knew why she persisted and that turned his smile into a frown. Sometimes he wished she wanted Disney instead of hellfire.

“It is actually good for her, you know? She should know. The good and the bad.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “How do you always know what I’m thinking?”

Lisa grinned at him. “Because I’m awesome.”

“You are.” Dean kissed her softly, not even caring about the chick flick moment. This woman had basically saved his life - again - and he was allowed to be mushy over that.

“I’m serious though. I know I haven’t been very happy about you teaching her about monsters and angels and demons, but I was just scared. You were right, she has to know. One day, they will come for her - the hunters - and she needs to know why.”

Dean sighed, looked at his hands. “If I hadn’t come back, it wouldn’t have been necessary. I could have taken her away, far away where they couldn’t find her. I could have--”

“No!”Lisa took his hands in hers and forced him to look up at her. “Don’t do this to yourself. That accident was just that: an accident. And you walked away to keep us safe, we both understand that. I forgave you a long time ago.” She pressed a kiss to his knuckles with a smile. “But you came back. And you brought a wonderful little girl with you, whom I love to death. I wouldn’t want it any other way, Dean. So stop kicking yourself over this. None of this is your fault.”

A spike of guilt surged through him at that. Lisa didn’t know the truth, not the whole truth, and he would never tell her, but he would never stop blaming himself for it. Any of it. Having Cas erase their memories, being the reason he had to do that, pretending the accident was real, leaving them behind thinking he was just a stranger.

When he came back - broken, bruised, empty - he had planned to do the right thing, tell them everything, but he had taken one look at Lisa’s life and her home and he had chickened out. Lied again. Told them half-truths about the accident, lost memories, bad people and a hunter’s upbringing. If it hadn’t been for Ben’s nightmares, he would have left it at that.

Maybe Cas’ erasure had worn off, maybe it hadn’t been a complete wipe in the first place, maybe he had triggered something in the kid. But somehow Ben started dreaming about monsters in warehouses, his mom with black eyes, and knives. He had had to tell him something, anything. More half-truths, uncomfortably close to whole-truths, but never quite there. Monsters, yes. Ghosts, yes. Things that go bump in the night, yes. Angels and demons though? No. Never.

And he was still lying to them about how exactly he got Emma and what happened to her birth-mother. He had told her about how Emma came to be, the little girl’s powers would give everything away anyway, but he could never bring himself to disclose the full extent of how far he had gone to keep her. Killing her mother, summoning a demon, torturing the information out of him, using that information to keep Emma alive and little. There had been blood, pain, a chunk of his flesh, and a crying little girl who didn’t ask for a pair of panicky hunters turning her life upside down, no matter how much they did it to save her life.

No, this was one secret he would keep extremely well hidden from anyone that wasn’t Sam for the rest of his life.

But he lied about Cas too, and about who Bobby and Jody were, and why he kept that one knife under his side of the bed, but he would give anything for them to never find out everything. It was too dangerous, but that wasn’t as important as that one other thing he valued more than anything in his life now. Love. There was no way Lisa - or Ben - would ever forgive him, and that would be his end.

“Dean?”

He nodded, forced a smile on his face. “Sorry, I zoned out a bit. What were you saying?”

She gave him another one of her looks - this one said she didn’t believe him for one second - but she didn’t call him out on it. God, she was too good for him.

“I just said it would be good for her to learn about the things she needs to know to keep herself safe. Emma and Ben both.”

Dean recognized the underlying message - safety and protection over action and hunting - but he wasn’t planning on turning his daughter into a hunter any time soon. Nor Ben, no matter how much the boy nagged and pushed and tried to steer the things Dean taught him in that direction. No way was Dean getting anyone into the hunter life if he could help it.

“I know, and I promise she won’t get any special treatment just because she’s from some kind of ancient race of super-strong women.”

That made Lisa laugh out loud. “God, don’t let Ben hear you. He’s been doing such a good job of ignoring that part of her, so far.”

Dean grinned. “Yeah, let him have his pride for a little while longer. Can you imagine the day when Emma has to kick someone’s ass to get him out of trouble? He’ll be so embarrassed.”

Lisa cocked an eyebrow at him. “I wonder who he gets that pride from?”

Dean held his hands up with a laugh. “Not me! Not the father, remember? You said it yourself.” Not that he ever cared if Ben was his blood or not. He loved that kid like he was his own and he always would.

Lisa shook her head with a laugh. “Very convenient excuse, isn’t it?”

It was a long-standing joke between them and a question he never wanted to answer anyway, so Dean merely leaned in and kissed Lisa soundly in answer. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down against her. With Emma busy raking the leaves and Ben in the shower upstairs, they had a few minutes to themselves, and Dean happily made use of them. He wrapped his arms snug around Lisa, pressing her down into the couch pillows, and deepened the kiss.

By the time Emma knocked on the window to yell at them that she was done, they were both breathing a little shakily. Dean pulled away reluctantly and cleared his throat. “I’ll be right out, baby, I’ll help you throw the leaves out.”

He smiled down at Lisa. “You look a little flushed.”

Lisa grinned and wiggled her hips against his. “You feel a little aroused.”

Dean groaned. “Not funny.”

“Hey, you started it mister, don’t blame me!”

He pressed a small kiss on the tip of her nose. “You know I love you, right?”

“Of course I do. Now get up and help your daughter clean up the garden. And pick something relatively safe to read to her, please?”

Relatively safe turned out to be Samuel Colt’s journal. Dean had stashed it in Bobby’s house after their trip **way** down memory lane, but had taken it when he went back to Lisa. It was one of the few things he had taken with him, together with John’s journal, his gun and the demon knife, and the Impala. He fully intended to leave the hunter life behind but somehow more and more stuff had gravitated from Bobby’s house to theirs. Lisa called it closeted hoarding; but Dean kept insisting he needed it. For protection.

Or to read to his kids, apparently.

Now there was a thought he’d never thought he would have.

“Daddy?”

The soft touch of Emma’s little fingers brushing his cheek pulled him from his thoughts. “Yes, Baby?”

“When is my birthday?”

The utter randomness of the question rendered him temporarily speechless, and he failed to come up with the date on the spot. He had been reading to her about Colt going into town to buy supplies and getting into a tussle with some out-of-towners who he believed to be up to no good when Emma had brought his brain to a screeching halt.

He had no idea when her actual birthday was, just what he made up for her official papers. Which made him resort to the trusty response of, “Why?” so he could buy some time to remember.

Emma shrugged, “Nothing”, but refused to look at Dean as she did. Alarm bells immediately went off in his head.

He closed the journal and put it aside on the kitchen table so he could pull Emma into his lap. She usually struggled a bit when he did this, grumbling about how she was too old for daddy-cuddles, but this time she just curled into him without a sound. More alarm bells.

“I think your birthday is a ways away, Em, sorry. But I can ask your mother if we can throw a party and you can invite some friends over, just because?”

But Emma shook her head. “No Daddy, that’s okay.”

“Is someone in your class having a birthday party?” Maybe she wasn’t invited and she was sad?

“No.”

He was stumped. Emma was almost crying now, he could feel her small chest shaking against the emotion. Seemingly out of nowhere, too, and he had no idea what to do. He was about to get up and get Lisa, when Ben walked in and spotted them.

“Hey, Dad, Em. What’s wrong?”

Dean shook his head with a small shrug. “Emma’s a bit sad, she’ll be okay.”

Ben grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and leaned against it to have a drink. “Did she lose her stuffed animal again?”

Dean raised his eyebrows at Ben. “Again?”

“Yeah. She lost one a few weeks ago. The small bunny she got from one of mom’s friends? She said she told you.”

Emma had gone completely still against him, almost holding her breath. It was something she often did when she knew she was caught doing something she shouldn’t, or when she wasn’t telling the whole truth about something. He didn’t have to be a genius to figure out which one was applicable now.

He pulled back a little so he could look her in the eyes and smile reassuringly. “Why didn’t you tell me you lost Max, Emma?”

Emma shrugged and looked away again, but Dean lifted her chin with two fingers and forced her to look at him. “No, Baby, it’s not nothing. You loved Max. Do you know where you lost him? Maybe we can go look for him.”

Emma hesitated a fraction too long for Dean to believe the headshake. Even Ben looked alarmed.

“She said she didn’t know. That she couldn’t remember when she last had it.”

That didn’t sound like his Emma at all. She always knew exactly where every one of her stuffed animals was. They had names, backstories, relationships; she told each of them different secrets. And Max was her favorite; he even went to school with her every now and then.

Wait.

“Did you lose Max at school, Baby? Did you forget to bring him home?”

The headshake was a little too hesitant again. A horrible thought occurred to him.

“Did someone take him from you?”

Emma slumped forward a bit as if in defeat and Dean knew he was onto something. She wouldn’t meet his eyes anymore, so he just pressed a kiss to her forehead and hugged her a bit closer against him. “Can you tell me who took it? Was it Miss Williams?”

This time to headshake was quick and empathetic. “No!”

“Okay, Baby, okay. One of the other kids in your class then?”

The lack of any kind of response was answer enough. Dean immediately and desperately wanted to shake all of the children in Emma’s class until they understood not to mess with his little girl. Ben looked like he was thinking the same thing.

“Can you tell me who it is, Baby? I can talk to Miss Williams and see if we can’t get Max back from them?”

Another head shake. Dean sighed. “Well, I can’t help you if you don’t want to tell me, Sweetie. I can’t get Max back if I don’t know who took him.”

He met Ben’s eyes over Emma’s head, Emma stubbornly refusing to say anything still. Ben nodded, somehow understanding Dean needed help, needed a different approach, and sat down in the kitchen chair next to them. He leaned over and bumped his shoulder into Emma’s with a small smile.

“You can tell me, Em, I’m your big brother. That’s what big brothers are for, to get their little sisters their teddy bears back when they lose them. Who took Max, Em?”

Emma looked away, a soft blush spread on her cheeks. She shook her head again, still hesitant to say anything. Ben nodded and ruffled her hair softly.

“Okay. You don’t have to tell us, okay? You’re strong enough to do something about them anyway.”

Dean looked at Ben sharply, but he needn’t have worried. Emma shook her head emphatically, big eyes pleading Ben to understand. “I can’t, Ben! Dad and Lisa say I can’t ever use my power against anyone!”

The breath he didn’t know he was holding escaped from Dean’s lungs in a deep sigh, both relief and sadness. His little girl shouldn’t have to deal with this. Powers or not, no little girl should be bullied. He wanted nothing more than to go over to that school and deal with those kids himself, but he knew he couldn’t. He needed to be a responsible parent. And he was pretty sure responsible parents didn’t go around bullying bullies back.

Ben wasn’t as responsible though.

“That’s bullshit!”

“Ben!”

“No, Dad, it’s stupid!” Ben stood up, angry and righteous. “Emma is stronger than any girl or boy in her entire school! She shouldn’t have to deal with bullies. If they knew what she was and what she can do, no one would ever bully her again!”

Dean opened his mouth to protest, reprimand Ben for talking back at him, but Emma beat him to it again. She jumped from his lap and looked up at Ben. “I don’t want anyone to know what I am!” She turned big, pleading eyes on Dean. “I don’t mind the bullies, Dad, but none of my friends will ever play with me again if they know I’m a freak!”

Okay, that was it. Dean stood up, the chair scraping across the floor loudly, a stern look on his face that shut both the kids up immediately. He didn’t go into tough-dad-mode very often, but when he did it never failed to instill the seriousness of the situation into them. He knew damn well the effect it had on them, which is why he only used it in the most important of moments, and this was one of them as far as he was concerned.

“First of all, Emma, you are not a freak and I won’t have you talk about yourself like that, okay?”

Emma still looked a bit panicked and shaken, and he knew the issue needed more attention and a different kind of approach than this, but she nodded. “Yes, Daddy.”

Dean nodded once. “Good.” He turned to Ben. “And you do not talk to me like that, understood? When I tell you to stop talking, you stop talking. And mind your words. Got it?”

Ben sighed, but nodded too. “Yeah, got it.”

Dean took a deep breath and smiled at his kids. There was too much tension in the room for it to be anything but brittle and shaky, but he wanted to make sure they knew the situation was dealt with and they were not in any more trouble. “Okay, thank you.”

Ben looked anywhere but at Dean. “I think I have some homework I haven’t finished. Can I go?”

“Yeah, go. Call me or your mom if you need any help.”

He watched Ben disappear upstairs and waited for the door to his room to slam shut a little harder than normal before looking at Emma. She was sitting on the floor, sniffling and fidgeting with her shoelaces, but she had calmed down a bit. He smiled at her warmly and settled down cross-legged next to her. He pulled her against his side and squeezed her for a few seconds.

“You know he only gets that angry because he loves you, right? He isn’t angry at you, just for you. He wants to help you. He’s your big brother, he worries about you. That’s what big brothers do.”

Emma nodded, one hand brushing her cheek quickly. Dean realized she was crying and trying very hard not to show it. His heart broke for his little girl all over again. He picked her up and pressed her against his chest, arms wrapped around her tightly, her face in his neck. He could feel hot tears falling on his neck, Emma’s fingers clutching his shirt. “It’s all gonna be okay, Sweetie, I promise.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this helpless.

But at 4.30 the following morning, he realized that no, he did remember the last time he felt that helpless. He remembered the stolen Christmas gifts, the fucking glittery magic wand or baton thing, and Barbie doll. He remembered the amulet, the angry words, the hot tears. And the helplessness.

He remembered thinking he never wanted to feel so utterly useless ever again, yet here he was. Another small kid depending on him, another small kid thrust into a life they never asked for, another small kid with the weight of the world on their shoulders, and he couldn’t do shit to help.

Again.

He was still awake the next morning when his alarm went off.

He went downstairs before anyone else was awake and got the coffee running and breakfast on the table. Lisa gave him a funny look when she came down to find him already up, but she didn’t say anything. She simply settled into the morning routine and together they got the kids out the door to school. He showered quickly, got dressed, kissed Lisa goodbye, and left for work. He missed the concerned look with which Lisa watched him go.

He was distracted all throughout the day. Emma, Ben, Sam; his mind went over it and over it and over it, but he was no closer to any kind of solution or resolve by the end of the day than he had been at the beginning, or last night. When he got home, he silently ate his dinner before grabbing a scotch and sitting down on the couch. He didn’t even notice the kids shooting him looks, or Lisa shooing them upstairs to their rooms for homework. It wasn’t until Lisa ran a hand through his hair to get his attention that he realized it had gone dark outside and he had been sitting there for hours just contemplating.

His scotch was untouched.

He sheepishly smiled at Lisa. “Sorry. Lost in thought.”

Lisa sat down on the armrest of the couch and pressed a kiss on his hair. He leaned into her a bit, grateful for the support. She always knew just when he needed it, even if he hadn’t said a word about what was troubling him. He supposed he had been a bit quieter than usual since Emma’s tearful breakdown.

“Ready to talk to me now?”

He huffed a sad laugh at that. “It feels like I ask you this every day, but how do you always know exactly what I am thinking?”

Lisa tangled a hand in his hair and started scratching his scalp softly, just the way he liked it. “Because I love you. Because I know you. And because I am awesome, but that goes without saying.”

He wanted to laugh, pull her into his arms, and kiss her. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, how he would be the best version of himself he could be for her. He wanted to simply just forget the world - the bullies at Emma’s school, the hunters coming for her, everything - and just be with her for the rest of his life, as selfish as that sounded, but he knew he couldn’t. He knew he wouldn’t, ever. But, God, did he want to.

“Dean?”

“Emma’s being bullied. Or maybe I’m exaggerating, but someone took Max from her and she is afraid to speak up about it. I’m worried.”

“Did you talk to her about it?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but she won’t tell me who took Max. But that’s not even what I’m most worried about. She doesn’t want to be seen as a freak. Those are her own words. What if she really thinks she’s a freak?”

Lisa sighed, stopped scratching. “If she does, there’s nothing else you can do. You're doing all you can. You’re an amazing father, Dean. You love her more than anything in the world and you never fail to show her that or tell her that. I know you want to do something, fix it somehow, but you can’t. It is the way it is. She is the way she is.”

Dean nodded; he knew she was right. That didn’t mean he had to like it, though. He rested his face in his hands with a deep sigh and Lisa resumed her petting. “I just hate that it has to be this way, you know? I wish she could just be normal. Just a little girl with normal parents. Not an ex-hunter and an Amazon birth mother. You’re the most normal thing she has, and she's afraid to let you in.”

Lisa was quiet for a long time, contemplating what he told her, reading between the lines, he knew. Somehow she always managed to navigate his horrible self-loathing, his terrible self-worth, and his staggering daddy issues, and get to the heart of what he was thinking or feeling. This time was no different.

“It’s Sam, isn’t it?”

The chuckle that forced its way out of his throat was dangerously close to a sob. He looked up at her with a wry smile.

“My dad never told Sam about what he did. About the monsters and ghosts and the hunting. I had to.” He sighed deeply, closed his eyes with a shake of his head. “He was so young, it wasn’t fair.”

Lisa nudged him to the side and slid in between the armrest and him, and pulled him down against her. She wrapped strong arms around him and he could feel the tension easing immediately. “Why didn’t he tell Sam?”

“He thought he was being a good father. He wanted to raise Sammy as a normal boy, not as a hunter. I have no idea how he planned to do that seeing how nothing about the hunter life was even close to resembling normal. He told Sam he was a traveling salesman or something. And he made me lie for him, too. Until I couldn’t.”

“What did you do?”

“I told him. On Christmas Eve. Christ, it was such a dick move, but he was asking all these questions and I just wanted to give him a decent Christmas. But Dad hadn’t left any money for presents and I had to steal some and they were for a girl, and--”

He stopped himself from rehashing the whole evening again; he wasn’t sure if he could handle that. It wasn’t important anyway, not that specific night.

“The shitty thing that night wasn’t even me telling Sam the truth. It wasn’t even the whooping I got from Dad when he found out. It was everything after that. Every single day that Sammy felt like a freak, an outcast. Just because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. Because our dad couldn’t let it go.” He hadn’t told Lisa about that, not yet, but he knew she would get it. “Not to mention all the shitty things that happened when we did finally catch up with Dad and Sam got the weight of the world dumped on his shoulders, literally. It wasn’t fair, it still isn’t.”

“And now it's happening all over again.”

“But now I can’t blame my dad, now it’s me who’s screwing things up for an innocent child who never asked to be born, to be mine. Emma never asked to be different.”

“And you never asked to be a hunter either. Nor did you ask to become the victim of an Amazon. And you didn’t--” Lisa stopped herself with a deep sigh. “I’m sorry, that isn’t helping. What can I do to help?”

Dean sat up and softly kissed Lisa. “Nothing. You can’t do anything, apart from being your amazing self. You **are** helping. I love you, you know that, right?”

And he did, with everything he had. He was fucked up, he had a past she knew next to nothing of, and yet she wanted him and loved him. She gave him a life and he would forever be grateful.

“I know. And I love you, too.” Lisa smirked. “You and all your issues.”

Dean laughed, kissed her again. “How about you take me and my issues to bed? They could use the rest.”

“As long as they don’t insist on watching when I try to make you forget them for a while.”

“Deal.”

The next morning, Dean’s phone started buzzing at way-too-early-o’clock and when Sam’s name flashed on the screen, Dean couldn’t help but for a split second wonder about hive minds, telepathic connections, and demon blood. The thought was gone as fast as it came, replaced by a few muttered profanities and a quick swipe across the screen. “Sammy?”

“Oh good, you’re up.”

Dean groaned at Sam’s very awake tone. “I wasn’t. I’m not. What’s up? How’s--” Her name just wouldn’t come to him at this hour.

“Amelia. And she’s fine, thanks for asking.”

Dean grunted something that was meant to be an acknowledgement, but Sam barreled on as if he hadn’t heard him. “Not why I called, though. Dean, hunters are after Emma.”

Nothing could have woken him up faster. He shot up in the bed, dislodging Lisa from his chest. “What?”

Lisa grumbled at him sleepily before sitting up too. “What’s going on?” He mouthed ‘Sam’ at her, but his face probably told enough of the story for her to lean in and try to hear Sam’s side of the conversation. Dean pressed the speakerphone button.

“I got a call from Jody and she says hunters are after Emma. Apparently they found your journal and called Bobby to verify and get more information. They were particularly interested in Emma. Bobby didn’t tell them anything, of course, but they said something about checking it out themselves and they had an address in Michigan. I know it’s not your current one, and Jody stalled them a bit, but it’s close nonetheless. You need to get out.”

“No.” He still wasn’t firing on all four cylinders, but he knew that much. He wasn’t running.

“What do you mean, no? You need to get going. Grab Lisa, get the kids and move.”

Lisa was nodding, but Dean shook his head again. “No. They’re just hunters. This is my home, our home. We’re not leaving everything behind just because a couple of hunters think they can come kill my daughter. Or me, for that matter. No.”

Lisa pulled the bitch face Dean knew Sam was giving him on the other end of the line. “Dean, don’t be an idiot.”

“What she said. Get up and get out.”

He sighed deeply. “Fine. **Fine** , we’re going. We’ll go to Bobby’s and figure it out from there.”

But Sam had a different plan. “No. Go to the Motel 6 just outside of the city, I’ll meet you there in an hour. I have a plan.”

“You’re here? Huh. What about Lisa and the kids?”

“Do they have school today?” There was a rustle of papers on the other side of the line - research, Dean guessed, Sam researched every bloody thing - before Sam went on. “Of course they do, sorry. Have Lisa take them and then meet us at the motel. We’ll get things sorted from there, but there’s no need to alarm them immediately.”

Dean glanced at Lisa, and Lisa nodded. “Emma’s freaked out enough as it is, and Ben will only panic if we don’t have an outlined plan yet. He’ll want to help.”

Dean knew Ben’s “helping” meant “proving to Dean he could be a good hunter”. Not happening.

“You’re right.” He did a quick calculation. “Jody stalled them, right? Then we have some time, there’s no reason to do things without thinking them through. Meet me in an hour. And Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet.”

Dean got everyone out the door in an hour, royally early for school, but Dean felt better for at least doing something useful. He kissed Lisa goodbye at the door. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

Lisa nodded, gave him a brave smile. “Of course. I’ll pack up the kids’ stuff and meet you at the motel. Don’t worry too much, okay? We knew this day would come, it just came a bit earlier than we hoped.”

Dean grimaced. “That’s a gross understatement and you know it.”

Lisa kissed him in reply before heading for the car where Ben and Emma were waiting for her to take them to school. They were a bit confused as to why they couldn’t take the bus like usual, but neither was complaining about the ride. Dean waved them goodbye until they disappeared around the corner before getting the Impala and heading for the motel.

Sam was already waiting for him, sitting ramrod straight on the hood of his rental car. Dean parked next to him and got out. He smirked at the car. “Still driving soccer mom rentals, Sammy?”

Sam scowled. “Shut up, Dean. It’s not a rental. It’s practical. Lots of storage. Good mileage.”

Dean laughed, but it was more nervously than amused. He felt too jittery for small talk.

“So, how did they find us?”

Sam sighed. “Just like I said; some hunters from Florida found your journal - nice job losing it by the way - pieced together what had happened with Emma, and where you were. And voila, here **we** are.”

Sam was already heading towards the motel rooms when Dean finally processed everything. “Wait, wait, wait, hang on a second, Sammy! I’m not buying what you’re selling! How the hell did they find my journal anyway? Yes, I lost it, but you were just as sure as I was that whatever that stuff was had burnt through it and destroyed it. Don’t just pin this on me. How in the hell did they get their hands on it?”

Sam threw his hands in the air with a pissed-off sigh. “I don’t know, Dean, maybe the monster that tried to kill us before it took your precious journal wasn’t as destructive as we thought. Which is rare in our case, so yeah, we both screwed that one up. We don’t have time for this, can we please go? I’d like to save your Amazon daughter before she becomes hunter prey!”

Dean huffed. “She’s already prey. And how do you know anyway? These hunters buddies of yours?”

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean. “Just because I have a girlfriend doesn’t mean I’m out of the life, Dean. You know that. As much as I’d like to be, someone’s got to look out for your ass.”

Dean scowled. “And a dog. Don’t forget the dog.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So who’re the hunters?” Dean knew almost all of them, and if he didn’t, Bobby did. But Sam shrugged.

“Newbies, Bobby didn’t know them either. Jody called me with it, she overheard them talking outside the sheriff's station a day or so ago. She gave them some trouble before she had to let them go, but it does give us some time to come up with a plan and get everyone safe.”

Dean smiled softly. “Remind me to send Jody flowers when all of this is over.”

Sam mirrored the smile before growing serious again. “I’ve created fake IDs for all of you, put some money in a bank account, set up a hotel room about two days from here. I’m sorry, but you need to run, man.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know. I’ll take care of the hunters, find out what they know and who else knows. And then I’ll handle that, too, until I know the coast is clear.”

They both knew neither had any idea of how exactly that would be achieved, but Dean was too afraid to ask. Instead, he nodded and gestured to the last room on the right. “Inside?”

Half an hour later, they had a plan, new identities, and a time frame. Dean called Lisa to ask her to stay put and wait for them to pick her up from the house, before grabbing his keys. “Let’s go, then. I’ll drive.”

They didn’t utter any more words on the drive to Emma’s school until Dean parked in the parent’s parking lot. He turned off the car and stared at the school for a bit. He was startled out of his reverie when Sam’s hand landed on his arm.

“I’m sorry, Dean, but we have to move.”

Dean nodded, still shocked by the uncharacteristic empathy from Sam that was normally reserved for the people they helped, the victims. He realized that’s how Sam saw him now: a victim, someone who needed help, someone incapable of getting out of the situation themselves. And he didn’t like it.

He shrugged the hand off irritably. “I know, Sam. Hunters are coming for my Amazon daughter, not an easy thing to forget, you know?”

Sam let it slide. Dean knew he let it slide, but he didn’t care. Not when his baby girl was in danger. He took a deep breath before getting out of the car and marching to the school. Sam would pick up Ben from the high school across the street.

Dean knew it would be fodder for gossip immediately, but it would also get Emma and Ben out of school without any questions asked, and they were gathered around the car ten minutes later. Emma clung to him, a little freaked, but accepting Dean’s flimsy explanations of family business. Ben just looked excited to be out of school in the middle of the day.

“So what’s this family 'business’, Dad?”

Hearing it out loud like that struck home like lightning. He had uttered those words exactly like that so many times when he was a kid, he couldn’t count them all. A glance at Sam told him Sam was thinking the same thing. He swallowed a few times, buying time to come up with a response, but in the end just going for broke. Unlike their dad.

He picked up Emma and hugged her to his chest. “People are coming for Emma, Ben. Bad people. And we need to hide for a while so Sam can make sure they’re not going to find us.”

Emma made a distressed sound at that and buried her face in Dean’s neck. Ben looked equally distressed, and shocked, glancing between Dean and Sam. When he found his voice, he sounded utterly scared. “What if they do get us, Dad? What if they find us?”

He puts as much conviction in his voice as he can muster up. “They won’t. Sam and I know what we’re doing. Come on, let’s go pick up your mom.”

But they didn’t get far. Dean bundled everyone in the car and pulled out of the parking lot, when there was a loud gunshot and the car swerved dangerously. He just about managed to get the car to the side of the road without slamming into anything, but his heart was racing and blood was pounding in his ears. Sam looked shocked, but he was wearing his determined face, too. He practically growled at Emma and Ben to get down on the floor behind the seats before slipping down in his seat too. He pulled Dean down and handed him a gun. “I need you to not panic right now, okay? I know you still know how to shoot this.”

Dean looked down at the gun in his hands; it was his own with the pearl handle. “How did you--?”

Sam shrugged. “I knew it had to be somewhere in the car, took me five seconds.”

Another shot rang out. Emma screamed, Ben cursed, and Dean blanched. He hadn’t been in any kind of shootout or fighting situation in a long time, and his hunter instincts had dulled, despite what he told Ben. Sam seemed to realize this and thankfully took control of the situation. He grabbed Dean’s arm tightly and forced him to look at him.

“Listen, we’re going out there, use the doors as cover, and find the bastards. When we do, we take them out. Got it?”

Dean nodded numbly. He didn’t **want** to shoot anybody, not in front of his kids, not even when they were trying to kill him. But he knew Sam was right, and what else could they do? He would do anything to protect his children. So he took Sam’s cue, threw the door open, and crouched down behind it. He barked a “Stay there!” at Emma and Ben before raising his gun and peeking over the edge of the door to try and find where the hunters were.

“On your ten! Behind those bushes!”

Dean swung his gun around, spotted one of the men behind thick bushes about fifteen feet away, fired a shot in his general direction. “Where’s the other one?”

Sam didn’t reply, but fired a shot instead. Dean figured he spotted the other guy and focused back on the hunter on his side. But the man was gone, out of sight, until Dean spied a disturbance in the bushes further to his left. The hunter was closing in on them from the side and Dean was exposed.

“Sam, I think they’re circling!”

“I know they are, buddy number two is on the move too. Keep him aim, don’t lose him!”

Dean aimed his gun at the bushes he saw move last and focused his gaze on them. But there was a scuffle in the car and Emma’s voice rang out. “No, Ben, I don’t want to! Those men have guns and I don’t want to!”

Dean was distracted for a just second, but it was enough for the hunter to jump from the bushes and cross the 15 feet between him and Dean. He kicked Dean’s gun from his hands, it flew under the car and out of reach. When Dean looked up, there was a shotgun aimed at his face with a grinning hunter at the end of it.

“Dean Winchester. Never thought I’d have you staring down the barrel of my gun. Then again, you used to be one of us, one of the good guys.”

Dean sighed; he knew he wasn’t going to win any arguments with this guy. He had clearly already made up his mind. He might as well stop playing any games before they started. These guys obviously knew all about Emma and what he had done. “Still one of the good guys. What is wrong about saving a little girl’s life?”

The guy snorted. “When she’s a monster, everything. Now get her out of the car so I can finish the job.”

“No.”

“No? I don’t think you have a choice here, pal. I’m the one with the gun here. And your little brother is occupied with my partner, so he isn’t going to come to your rescue. Just do what I say and maybe I’ll let you live.”

Dean scowled. “How generous of you. But it’s still a no, **pal**.”

More shots rang out from the other side of the car, followed by a cry that was decidedly not Sam. Dean smirked. “Looks like my little brother took care of that partner of yours. Now how about you lower the gun and crawl back to where you came from?”

He could feel the car move behind him, could hear Emma’s soft cries from inside, but he was afraid to take his eyes off the crazy hunter in front of him. He trusted Sam to take care of Ben and Emma until he could get rid of the yahoo waving a gun in his face.

“Not until you give me the girl, Winchester. She needs to die, she’s a freak!”

“My sister is **not** a freak!”

“Ben, no!”

Time slowed down until all Dean could see was the anger on Ben’s face, the gun - Dean’s gun - in Ben’s trembling hands, Sam’s mirrored pose behind Ben.

Two bullets exiting from two different guns, one bullet entering into the chest of the man holding a shotgun in his face.

Sam’s shocked face, Ben’s even more shocked face, the man falling down to the ground, shotgun clattering to the ground, his own hands in mid-air as if trying to stop the bullet from leaving Ben’s - his - gun.

Too late. Too late to stop, too late to take back, too late.

“Ben? Ben. Put down the gun. Ben, can you hear me? Put the gun down. Slowly, just put it on the ground.”

Ben’s eyes never left Dean’s as he did what Sam asked him to do. He bent down, put the gun on the ground, and straightened. His eyes pleaded for-- Dean wasn’t sure. Forgiveness? Help? A take-back? Did he even shoot the hunter? Was it his bullet that killed a man, or was it Sam’s?

When he glanced up, Sam shrugged. He didn’t know either.

Probability said it was Sam, Ben had never handled a firearm before and even at such close range it was difficult to actually hit a target. Right? But he remembered the first time he held a gun, how he shot the can his dad had placed a few feet away dead center on the first try.

“Daddy?”

Ben spun around, turned wide eyes on Emma. “Emma! Oh, God - Emma!”

Dean watched as Ben fell to his knees and pulled Emma in a tight embrace. He wasn’t crying, but Emma was. When his ears stopped ringing long enough to hear, beyond the shock of Ben killing a man, he could hear them talking to each other frantically. Ben was asking Emma if she was alright over and over again, Emma reassuring him she was fine, that he had saved her, how she loved him. Her big brother.

Her big brother.

Through all the chaos and confusion and shock, that’s what she came away with; a big brother. It was almost too much for Dean to take, and he involuntarily giggled. Sam raised an eyebrow, but he just shrugged. He knew he should be shaking, screaming, crying, but all he could think was, “She finally acknowledges Ben as her big brother”.

Sam shook his head, jerked his head to the side. Dean finally realized he had been in a shootout in broad daylight, on a busy street. It hadn’t lasted very long, the police hadn’t even shown up yet, but a few people were now slowly inching closer, still a little wary until they were sure the shooting was over.

Dean considered the options quickly. “Do you have your FBI badge on you?”

Sam nodded. “And my gun license. Good call. Use your fake ID, we’re still in the system.”

Dean shook his head. “Not necessary, I took Lisa’s name for all official things.”

Sam looked like he wanted to laugh, but he just nodded instead. “Alright. Police questioning it is then.”

The local police showed up a few minutes later, questioning everyone for a long time until they had a clear picture of what happened. Sam explained that the two guns were both his - his standard issue and his own personal weapon - and did his best to downplay Ben’s involvement as much as he could. Dean knew Ben would still be part of the case, but he also knew self defense would most certainly clear his name.

If he was the one that shot buddy number one.

When the police finally let them go, Dean got everyone in the car. Ben hadn’t let go of Emma yet, Emma clinging to him just as tightly. Dean threw the keys to Sam and circled the car to the passenger seat. “You drive, I need to call Lisa.”

His phone informed him he had twelve missed calls and when he called back, Lisa picked up on the first ring. “Dean! Oh God, please tell me you’re all okay!”

He looked at his two kids in the backseat cowering together, both on the verge of tears, shaking like leaves, but unharmed. “We’re all fine. It’s all over.”

Lisa released a deep, relieved breath in his ear. “Thank **God**. Are you coming home?”

“We’re on our way now, we’ll be back in ten minutes.”

“Hurry, okay?”

He smiled softly. “I’ll ask Sam to step on it. Oh, and baby? Break out the scotch, we all need stiff drinks after this.”

“You got it.”

The ride home was silent. Exhaustion filled the car, mingled with shock and horror, but a little bit of relief, too. Sam pulled up at the house eight minutes later. Dean got out and opened the backdoor to pick up Emma, but Emma shook her head and buried her face in Ben’s neck. “I wanna stay with Ben, Daddy.”

But when she spotted Lisa in the open door of the house, she wiggled out of Ben’s arms and ran up to her with a loud cry of, “Mommy!”

She wrapped both arms and legs around Lisa and didn’t let go until Lisa put her down in bed half an hour later, already asleep from exhaustion. Dean urged Ben to go to bed too and surprisingly Ben listened. Dean followed him to his room, watched him flop down on his bed with a deep, tired sigh. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put a hand on Ben’s head, softly stroking his hair.

He was still searching for the right words when Ben beat him to them. “I don’t know what I was thinking Dean, but I just couldn’t let him call her a freak. Not like that. I’m sorry, Dad. I just--”

“It’s okay, Ben. I understand.” And oh, how he did. “Just try to get some sleep, okay? Tomorrow is another day.”

When he came back downstairs, Lisa and Sam were quietly talking over coffee. They looked up with matching smiles, and Sam gestured at a cup sitting next to Lisa. “Black, one sugar.”

Dean nodded in appreciation and sat down. He pressed a kiss to Lisa’s hair, lingering a bit longer than strictly necessary. He then looked at Sam. “So, it’s all over now? No more hunters on our asses?”

Sam nodded. “For now. I’ll check in with Jody and Bobby, see if they talked to anyone else, who their friends were. Let’s hope this was it though.”

Lisa smiled. “Yes. And then you and Amelia can visit us like normal people, instead of only when our lives are in danger.”

Dean opened his mouth to protest; Sam had never shown any interest in coming by, especially not with Amelia, after they left it so coldly all that time ago. But then Sam smiled with a nod. “I think she’ll like that. And me! I’ll like that too.”

“You would?” It slipped out before he could stop it.

Lisa elbowed him in the side with a chuckle. “Dean, be nice. I’m sure Amelia is lovely. So long as she makes Sam happy, you should be happy for him.”

Trust her to see right through him. Again.

When Sam left, Dean never really expected him to really take Lisa up on her offer, but two days later he got a message from Sam.

_Figured I’d show Amelia this family thing you have going on, maybe she’ll warm to it_

Dean grinned and typed up his reply.

_It is kind of awesome, and Ben and Emma could use some cousins_


End file.
